MIRAGE: TEDDY AND THE SHEIKH

<<photo - graffiti near AUB (American University of Beirut), in Hamra, it says: Who's gay? Your mother's gay...I'M GAY. I was curious about this, so I asked people walking down the street to translate it for me, I finally found someone who could and she knew the artist, a gay rights activist who attends AUB, also, I learned that there aren't any laws against graffiti in Beirut.>>

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Cosmopolitan, chic, the "Paris of the Middle East," these are all terms used to describe Lebanon. As an American, I've found all the comforts of home: big grocery stores, starbucks, huge shopping malls that sell tight jeans and stiletto heeled boots, bars and nightclubs. The very day I arrived, people told me that if I was going to report on youth in Lebanon, I had to talk about the NIGHTLIFE, because it rivals the party scene in Europe and the States. And everyone, EVERYONE...we're talking 50 year old mother's of grown children, down to 17 year old high school brats, told me I have to go to ACID. "Vhat is this Acid?" -- I would ask using my dad's funny Persian accent. "It's a club and they play the best music and you pay a cover charge and there are free drinks all night long! Oh yeah, and most of the men who go to there to party, are gay," their eyebrows would raise to see what my reaction would be to the last part of their description, "MOST OF THE MEN THERE ARE GAY." Well, frankly, it doesn't make much of a difference to me, the fact that most men at a nightclub are gay isn't shocking, I lived in San Francisco's Castro for a few years.

Here, in Lebanon, being gay is still taboo, pre-marital sex is still taboo, but, according to a 28 year old film teacher at the Lebanese American University, gayness has been a "trendy subject" with her film students, lately. She told me a good number of their movies this semester touch on the issue: maybe their main characters are gay, or there's a sub-plot involving someone who's gay. It's a topic that is making its way out of the "closet," so to speak.

Two days ago, I interviewed, TEDDY, he's 24 years old and and a professional dancer here: he belly-dances, modern dances and strips in nightclubs and at private parties. Teddy recently agreed to appear on a local TV program, where he was CONFRONTED about his lifestyle by a well known psychotherapist, they kept calling the show, over an over again...THE CONFRONTATION. She asked him why he danced, why he he doesn't have a normal job and a family of his own, what his parents think of his dancing, etc. He said he dances because he loves it, but also because it's a way to make money in Lebanon where there aren't any jobs for young college graduates, he said he's not ready for a family but he wants to get married and that his family wasn't supportive of his work as a dancer until they came to see him, they were impressed by the crowd's reaction. The b-roll was video of TEDDY Arabic dancing at a club in low rise pants and a halter top, his face, perfectly made-up. The host of the program took calls from people around the Middle East, no one had anything positive to say to TEDDY, they said he was a sick freak, that he should die, that he's disgracing his family, and on and on. Not one person called to support him. Mind you, TEDDY denied on the TV program that he was gay, he was just there defending his right to be a male belly dancer.

I didn't know what to expect when I went to interview TEDDY at his day job. <<He helps run a chain of stores that sell stuffed animals, jewelry and knick knacks for the home>> I wasn't sure if he would speak with me honestly about his experience, but he did. The first thing he said was that he was most definitely GAY and that living in Lebanon was like living in HELL, where there's a threat of prison or death if you're an out gay man. I said that can't be true seeing as there's a popular gay club in Beirut that everyone knows about, and he responded, "Shereen, yes, you can go there with your boyfriend and you can dance, but you can't hug, you can't kiss, you can't show any real affection, you can't really be who you are. You always have to keep your life a secret, there's no other choice here." He begged me to take him to the United States with me, where he can be a real dancer and work on his craft, rather than waste away in Lebanon where there's no work and no opportunities. "Maybe this interview will help me get a visa out of here," TEDDY said, "then I can go and live with my parents in Burbank." When I asked if his parents know about his lifestyle, he said,chuckling, "no and I can't tell them until I get the U.S., or they might not let me come."

The following day I interviewed two trans gendered Men, Serg and Yusef. Both men were born women. Serg, is 29 and now legally married. He spent 7 years of his life saving money and searching for a doctor to do a sex change operation in Lebanon. No doctors here specialize in that area. He told me he was the first to have a successful operation, but he went through a number of botched surgeries that left him scarred for life. Now Serg spends much of his free time helping trans gendered men and women find the right surgeon and the right psychological support in Lebanon. Serg and Yusef talked about the pain they felt growing up, wondering if they were Lesbians and wanting to kill themselves because they were having "gay" relationships. Now that they are both men, then told me that there lives are much better because appearances are everything in Lebanon and they can marry, have families and society has finally accepted them. They told me that being trans gendered in Lebanon is much easier than being openly gay, because if people see you as a man, even though you might be a woman, they will treat you like a man and let you live. They said they don't want to be associated with the gay community because they don't want to suffer the consequences.

Later, the same day, I interviewed a Shia Sheikh in Dahiyeh about this issue and how Islam deals with homosexuality and transexuality. "If you are a Lesbian," the Sheikh told me, "the Koran says you must be locked in your families home and you will not be allowed to leave until you've controlled your desire to love the same sex, but, if you are a gay man," he continued,"your punishment is more severe, the punishment is DEATH." He told me that the punishment is more severe for men because men are allowed to take 4 wives and if they're not fulfilled after taking 4 wives and they want to be in a relationship with a man, they deserve to die. He said women have an lesser punishment because they are not afforded the same opportunity to find someone to love from the opposite sex, they're stuck with one man. When I asked him about trans gendered people, he told me the Koran doesn't mention these people, he said that it is still not natural, but if a man thinks he's a woman and is psychologically a "real woman" and if he has a sex change, he can have a family and live righteously in the name of Allah. So, if you're gay, it's forbidden, but you can change your sex in order to have a female/male relationship, it is not forbidden.

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I'm not sure where this story is going, I just stumbled on it here and I think it's interesting. My loyal friends and readers, do you have any questions?

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*another curious aside: when i asked HELEM, the gay rights organization here what they thought of Hezbollah gaining more power in the Parliament, they told me, it won't affect their struggle for gay rights because Hezbollah has never bothered them and they believe that Hezbollah will continue to leave them alone and allow them to organize.

Comments

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Yeah, what a story! All the stories from the people you've met reveal such a different take on the world than we get here in the states. I really get the idea of where these people are coming from, and how they've come to be that way. They need to take such a stand on life, I mean, you need to be really convinced of who you are to stand up against the status quo. All these stories combine to form a larger picture. You'll see that more after you get home. I have a question. Who are the people who disapprove of such modern interpretations of life? ARe they grandparents? Parents? Squares? It'd be interesting to hear from someone who didn't agree.

Posted by: Akemi Rico | March 22, 2007 at 10:49 PM

Hey chica....
Just catching up on your blog. Love it., love it. love it.
We miss you here in L.A. but you keep having adventures to the end....
Manda (lit)

Posted by: Mandalit | March 22, 2007 at 06:26 PM